nothing changed but everything is different

some of the details of my life are in varying degrees of dissolution- i'm raising the bar. no, i've raised the bar. things have shifted into a new perspective and new experiences continue to emerge. people come and people go- the cyclical nature of my patterns is evident. yet, i mourn no loss. from a distance, i commemorate those who i won't engage with anymore. i did have a burst of an ache in my chest today as i thought of suzie vleck- she brought some smiles and a tiny bit of nostalgia as the memory of her passed through my sphere. other than that- there is a considerable amount of space between me and the previous primary figures in my life and though i sense them in the substratum of my days, they're merely in recollections that descend and ascend and fly away swiftly. for the first time ever i think, i can discern between who i want to invite in and those i choose to release-it's because i love myself and maybe just because. see, my mind lives in my heart, when i can help it. gratefully, my brain does much of the work to keep my faculties in tact. also, i'm riding on higher doses of serotonin, peace and serenity visit more than ever and i'm allowing myself to enjoy every minute of it. i started a new job. that's exciting! my days are filled with constructive plans that i execute so that another individual can focus on her creative expansion. she is wonderful. she is sensible and smart and we share similar traits. we are compatible. i hear her, she hears me and i get paid to be me. i'm happy.